Why self-forgiveness will transform your self-image

When we talk about having a healthy self-image and what a vital component it is in relation to self-worth, we cannot fail to address self-forgiveness. We are never going to feel worthy if we are carrying shame. We are never going to have a healthy self-image if we are crippled with guilt. We have to learn to let that shit go, or we will carry it consciously and subconsciously for the rest of our lives. For me, that resulted in an autoimmune disease. For some it manifests as physical weight. For some it may present as depression. You get the idea... shame and guilt block our chi... and our chi is our life force. We cannot live fully if our life force is blocked. You dig?

This life is precious and it's happening right now. The sooner we get to forgiving ourselves, the sooner our lives will transform for the better. This episode is ALL about how to do that.

PRODUCTS MENTIONED...
THE GOLDEN SECRETS: 

https://www.thegoldensecrets.com and use code: JACLYN10 for 10% off your order

Byron Katie Books:

Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

I Need Your Love - Is That True?

A Thousand Names for Joy

Who Would You Be Without Your Story?

A Mind at Home with Itself

Songs:

"Let it Go" by James Bay

"Follow You" by Ben Rector

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Light, Love, & Peace,

Jaclyn Steele

Transcript

Jaclyn Steele: 0:00

Hi, I am Jaclyn Steele and welcome to self discovery. Howard Thurman so beautifully wrote, don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive, coming alive. That my friends is what self discovery is all where that man welcome, welcome. Welcome to today's episode of self discovery soon to be self worth with Jaclyn Steele. This is episode 110. We're in season three. And today's topic is why self forgiveness will transform your self image. Friends, March is all about self image. That's the theme this month. And I outline why self image is so important in Episode 107. So if you haven't listened to that, and don't understand why won't shut up about self image, then definitely start there. Before we begin, though, I want to invite you to join my sacred role affirmation community, the number is in the show notes, you will get periodic texts from me that are all about uplifting you, reminding you who you are, and hopefully focusing you back on your own amazing, powerful, transformative self worth. Next, join my newsletter, the scoop, I share things in there that I only share in the newsletter, I also share a lot of coupons and codes for products that I believe are really high vibe. That's called a scoop, you can sign up for that in the show notes. And then also, if you haven't already, please leave a review for this podcast makes a huge difference. I read every single one and they mean the world to me. All right. Now let's get down to business. I want to chat on something that I feel like isn't talked about enough in my opinion. And it's something that can be a huge roadblock to cultivating a healthy self image. And that my friends is you guessed it, forgiveness, and specifically, self forgiveness. Do you want to lower your blood pressure? Forgive yourself? Do you want less stress in your life? Forgive yourself? Do you want better mental health? Forgive yourself? Do you want better physical health? Forgive yourself? Do you want better relationships in your life? Forgive yourself. I'm not gonna lie. forgiving ourselves can be one of the hardest things that we ever do. Especially if we feel like it's a doozy thing to forgive ourselves over. forgiving ourselves for small things. That can also be hard to like being late for work, or missing a date with a friend or eating that extra helping a friend tries when you vowed you wouldn't. But you know what? Holding on to all that BS is toxic, both physically and mentally. When we talk about having a healthy self image, and what a vital component it is, in relation to self worth, we cannot fail to address self forgiveness. We are never going to feel worthy my friends if we are carrying a load of shame, even if we're carrying a little bit of shame in negatively affects us. And we're never going to have a healthy self image. If we are crippled with guilt. We have to learn to excuse my language, let that shit go. Or we will carry it consciously and subconsciously, for the rest of our lives. For me personally that resulted in an autoimmune disease. For some it manifests as physical weight. For some it may present as depression. You get the idea, shame and guilt block our CI and our CI is our life force. We cannot live fully if our life force is blocked. You dig? I touched on this in the e book I wrote several years ago called didn't break me. We must learn to forgive others because it allows us to do the much harder work of forgiving ourselves. It's all tied together. So I think the first thing I need to address here is how to forgive yourself. And I get it. This is hard, hard stuff. I've struggled for years with certain regrets, I have some dating back to my childhood. And to be honest with you, I'm a master at being hard on myself and repeating old tapes. However, learning to let go, and I haven't mastered it yet. But when I have let go consciously, subconsciously, it has created such a lightness in my life, and it's made space for so much more joy. But would you rather have this looming guilt and shame, or space for joy, and fun, and light heartedness? So here are my thoughts on how to forgive yourself and they are straight from the Work of Byron Katie. She is a master Master at helping people shift their perspectives, and releasing judgment directed at others and ourselves. She asks several simple questions and what she refers to as the work. And anytime I'm super upset, I turned to this system. And you know what I mean by super upset, like when it's obsessing your thoughts? Did that make sense when it's obsessing your thoughts when you're obsessing over it? When you can't think about anything else? When you have a pit in your stomach when you can't sleep at night, when something is just haunting you? This work is essential. And these questions are simple. The first question is, what is your belief? The next question is, is that belief true? The next is how do you react? What happens when you believe that thought? Today's episode is powered by the golden secrets. This incredible skincare line was birthed from the heart and soul of Jessie golden, who if you don't know who she is yet, you should listen to episode 102 of this podcast because I interviewed her and you're going to absolutely fall in love with her I'm telling you. But this line the golden secrets is a holistic, sustainable, fair trade, wild harvested and cruelty free skincare and wellness line that wants to inspire rituals of self love, and unveil a natural ageless golden glow. It's rooted in nature, ancient wisdom and organic beauty. The Golden secrets is committed to giving back and providing tools for the conscious consumer to live a more balanced, fulfilled beautiful and purposeful life. sound like something you want to be a part of? Yep, me too. The Golden secrets thrives on making skincare and wellness products that benefit everybody. all ethnicities, sexual orientations and specific skincare needs skincare that doesn't harm you or the environment but instead works in harmony to awaken it. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Also every product comes with an affirmation and a QR code so you can quickly learn how to use the product. I love combining affirmations with things we do every day. It transforms something as mundane as putting on your moisturizer into a sacred moment. And if you've been listening to this podcast for any length of time, you know I'm all about that. This line is it's just next level. I have their youth beauty face oil, their aura beauty mist, Sorcerer's Stone guasha beauty tool, gold pulse firming face wand and this sculpting stone guasha body tool. I've also heard rave reviews about the golden secrets heal all oil. So that's next on my list. I use these products pretty much daily and my gosh, I could go on for days about the benefits of guasha which if you buy any of their guasha tools, you get a giant ebook chock full of info on how to use it and why it's so transformative and why the stone specifically the composition of the stone is so important. It's not like other guasha tools at all. I'm also so in awe of the youth beauty face oil it immediately absorbs into your skin it plumps it up it gives you this Golden Globe and the aura mist penetrates your skin and locks in moisture five times better than hyaluronic acid. Guys it's a total game changer. especially if you live in the desert like me. And in addition, this might be my favorite product. Although it's really hard to say, the gold pulse firming face wand not only feels amazing, it helps a race, the tiny Forehead Wrinkles I have, I've watched in all multiple times in the mirrors, those little bad boys disappear as I use this tool, I cannot recommend this slide enough it is next level on every level. So do yourself a favor and go to the Golden secrets.com or follow the link in the show notes and use code. Jaclyn 10 for 10% off your order. Again, code Jaclyn 10, we'll get you 10% off your order, all the information is in the show notes. You are going to love every product he tried from the golden secrets, I just know it. Then the next is does that thought bring peace or stress into your life? The next is, what images do you see past and future? And what physical sensations arise as you think that thought and witness those images? The next question is What emotions arise when you believe that thought the next to any obsessions or addictions begin to appear when you believe that thought. The next is? How do you treat the person in this situation? When you believe the thought? How do you treat other people? And yourself? The next question is, who would you be without the thought. And then here's the empowering part. And I touched a little on this last week when I was talking about rewriting limiting beliefs. But what Byron Katie says to do next is rewrite the limiting belief into something positive and potent. Again, listen to episode 109 of this podcast for more specifics on how to do that. But what I love about this work so much is that it's not dependent on anyone, but you. It's not dependent on anyone else's actions, or reactions. It is solely in your power. It is solely in your power to change your perspective, whether it's a perspective on someone else, or in this case, your perspective on yourself. And I would argue to say in general, the things that we beat ourselves up for over and over and over and over again, are situations in which we were doing the best we knew how to do with the toolset that we had at the time. So if this was a situation that your best friend had experienced, I would if I were a betting woman, I bet that you would tell this person you did the best that you could with the knowledge that you had and the tools that you had at that time. You can't go back. So why are you still holding on? And I would say the same thing to you. You cannot go back. So why are you still holding on? So these questions by Byron Katie are part of what she calls the work. And there's an app called the work that Byron Katie and I, that Byron Katie created. And I highly recommend it, I have it on my phone. And it's especially potent for those moments. Like I mentioned before, when you are so angry or hurt, or both that you can't see straight. Byron Katie's books are also really excellent. I have linked all of those in the show notes. So check them out. You can go through this series of questions for every single thing you feel like you need to forgive yourself on big or small, or in between. And as you get used to letting things go, the process becomes easier and easier and lighter and lighter. Because you realize we're all just human. None of us are perfect. None of us. Again, we're doing the best we can with the tools we have in this moment. I want to turn back now to the topic of today's episode, why self forgiveness will transform your self image. And I want to do so by asking you a few questions. What would it feel like to stop beating yourself up over something you will never be able to undo? What would it feel like to let that embarrassing moment go? How would your life change if you stopped replaying everything you feel you did wrong to make that relationship and how would You feel in your body if you forgive yourself for not being perfect? Which Guess what? Like I said before, no one is How would it feel, to laugh off a failure? What would change in you if you didn't take yourself quite so seriously. And what would happen? If and when you messed up, you apologized, you made good on what you needed to make good on. But you didn't hold on to the low vibrational feeling of shame or guilt. Friends, if we don't learn to forgive ourselves, we are signing up to make our lives immensely more difficult. We're signing up to carry burdens that are meant to be laid down. Why? Because messing up is part of being human. Everyone does it. The mere fact that you are alive means that you are going to be kicked around. And you are also going to sometimes be the one doing the kicking. Whether you mean to or not. A healthy self image is not blocked by shame and guilt. So the sooner you can forgive yourself for whatever it is that you are carrying, the faster you can heal, and empower your self image and therefore empower your self worth. The way you see yourself the way you speak to yourself the way you consider your past, present and future. They are foundational to a healthy level of self worth. And self worth, my friends is where it's at. self worth is the foundation for a big, bold, badass existence. One where you are the prize winning flower, not the one on the wall. So let it go. Lay the burdens down. Allow some joy and laughter an ease to flow in where the waters were stagnant. If you need some assistance in this area right this minute, listen to the song. Let it go by James Bay. And the song follow you by Ben Rector. I've linked both of those in the show notes. And if you need additional help, go check out Byron Katie's books. They're incredible. I want to end with this. This life is precious and it's happening right now. The sooner we get to forgiving ourselves, the sooner our lives will transform for the better