Why forgiveness is imperative to healthy stress management

When we think about stress management, we don't necessarily think about forgiveness.  However, in my studies and in my experience, forgiveness is a major catalyst for removing stress in your life.  And in today's episode, I'm going to explain to you how that is and how you can start implementing forgiveness into your daily life to manage stress.

Song:
"Heaven is Everywhere" by Johnnyswim

BOOKS MENTIONED:

Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist

The Disappearance of the Universe by Gary Renard

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Light, Love, & Peace,

Jaclyn Steele

Transcript

Jaclyn Steele: 0:58

Hello and welcome to episode 160 of self worth with Jaclyn Steele. I'm so happy that you're here. And I'm excited to share today's episode content which centers around why forgiveness is imperative to healthy stress management. If you're joining us for the first time this month in the month of May, and I will share that the theme this month is stress management. A Song Of The Month is heaven is everywhere by Johnny swim, and the Book of the Month is Present Over Perfect by Shauna Nyquist. Before I dive in to the reason forgiveness is imperative, to healthy stress management. Couple of business items if you're not signed up for my newsletter, the scoop, what in the world. It is an awesome newsletter that my Podcast Producer Terry and I put so much love into every month. And it's got a downloadable PDF with all of the stuff that we create for the month, the theme rituals, quotes stuff to keep you inspired, that you can download and print and put somewhere so that you can go deeper into the theme of the month let it permeate those beautiful cells of yours. Also, in the email is a q&a section. If you have questions, I can answer them. There's also beautiful high vibe products and specific discounts just for you guys. So sign up in the show notes shine, sign up on my website, Jaclyn steele.com. That email comes out once a month, the first Wednesday of every month. You are also invited to join my text message community sacred rebel affirmations. It is growing every day. These are individual text messages, meaning you're not in a group chain where you're going to be getting pings all day long. But they are text messages that come from me several a week. And I write them when I'm feeling like there's a message coming through. And so I send them out and I just trust that they reach you in divine timing. You can opt in for these free messages that will uplift you by texting 480-531-6858 That's 405316858 and then type the word sacred sh c r e d. Once you're opted in, you will receive these high vibe messages directly from my heart to yours. Lastly, if you have been enjoying this podcast, please leave a review. Podcast reviews are everything in the podcast world. So if you're enjoying this, please help me out leave a review tell me so I read every one and I love reading them and it's such a joy. Okay, now let's dive in to today's message. I want to start with a centering breath. This month we're talking about stress management. So let's destress a little right off the bat. Let's do a deep inhale and exhale. Let's do it again. Deep inhale, belly breaths. Exhale. One more time. Make it the deepest inhale of the day. So far, a cleansing breath. breathwork is such an amazing tool for stress management. And so is laughing. I didn't know this. But a good belly laugh actually releases hormones that combat stress immediately. How cool is that our bodies are just absolutely incredible. Okay, on to forgiveness and why it is so imperative when it comes to stress management. The last two episodes of this month, I've addressed eight ways to manage manage stress naturally. And I also talked about having a stress list, defining what is stressing you out and why. And then totally shifting your perspective on those things. Essentially, it's all about matching your mindset to your dream life. Expanding that mindset. It isn't about eliminating all the stressors along the way to building our dreams, but rather becoming more resilient human beings and the process just like lifting weights builds muscle stress that has a purpose behind it builds our mindset muscle. If you have not listened to these two episodes so far this month, I highly recommend them if I say so myself. They are very helpful. One fairly large aspect of stress management, I haven't yet addressed though, is stress when it comes to relationships. And there's no kind of stress like the stress you feel when there has been a falling out with someone you love. Can you relate? Or even with a co worker or a stranger or the corner Do you in traffic, relationships are not easy human relationships are not easy. And the truth is they aren't meant to be. But they can certainly be a huge contributor to stress in our lives. Whether it's your mom or your dad, or your spouse, or your child, or your best friend, or the grocery store clerk, or your facialist, or the stranger that just flipped you off for no apparent reason, relationships and human interactions can cause a lot of stress, especially if we let them affect us on a deeper level. And we all know that feeling of carrying a toxic relationship with us, the regret, the anger, the fear, the whatever, the toxicity that lingers when things feel unresolved. When words go unspoken, when trauma occurs at cetera, we all know what this feels like, and how it can affect us on a cellular level. It's awful. And it affects our lives on a daily basis. If we do not address it. It can even affect us physically over time. It's imperative that we remove the stress of toxic relational experiences from our lives. But how do we do this? How do we really do this? Because it's not about pushing it down. It's not about compartmentalizing it. It's not about intellectualizing it, we have to do this on a cellular energetic level. And we do that through forgiveness. And forgiveness. Sounds simple enough, right? But it's not just about letting go. It's deeper than that. I've been reading a book called The Disappearance of the Universe by Gary Renard. And the premise of the book is that we will be able to go home to heaven permanently, and join with Jesus when we are able to forgive everything. And everyone. Again, that sounds simple. But we all know forgiveness is hard, right? Sometimes the mere mention of someone's name can make your blood boil, or your heart ache. So I'm going to share some deeper levels of forgiveness by explaining part of my belief system, which is also outlined in the book The Disappearance of the Universe. You all know that I love me some clean skincare, and one of my favorite brands of all time for clean skincare is living libations. Their carefully crafted creations are innovations of exquisite quality that celebrate the lifeforce energy of people, plants, and the planet. Every single component of a libation is a bioactive botanical ingredient. There opulent oils, essential oils and fusions and elegant extracts are highly concentrated and formulated with the focus of feeling good in the skin you are en. for over 30 years they have nurtured personal relationships with artisan distillers and family farmers across the planet. To secure authentic oils and extracts that are purely and fairly produced. They can trace the source of every single ingredient they use. Living libations is among the purest skincare lines on Earth on Earth. I interviewed the founder Nadine artibus, in Episode 81 of this podcast, and she created a sacred range of products from skincare to haircare to oral care, and all of them are absolutely incredible. Just read the reviews. But if you are new to the line start with their best skin ever seabuckthorn cleansing oil, you can cleanse with it and moisturize with it and it will transform your skin. I also use their rose glow complexion mist, the rose glow serum and the all seeing opulent eye cream. I use their Jai baby oil on my son and I have since he was born and I love, love, love their new Raven mascara. It's a clean mascara that works so well stays on all day and wipes off easily at night. It's incredible, and it's totally clean, totally clean. I could go on and on about all of the incredible products that they create. I own most of their line and love it, but I'm gonna let you find out firsthand. So go to living libations.com/jaclyn Steele to receive 12% off your entire order that is living libations.com/jaclyn Steele you are going to flip over how incredible this line is. The details and the discount are also in the episode show notes. This episode is supported by rise superfood mushroom coffee, loaded with adaptogenic mushrooms rise coffee blend deliver Has calmer energy sharper focus and immune support for a balanced body and clearer mind. The taste is smooth, creamy and earthy. All with less than half the caffeine of normal coffee so you don't get the jitters or that inevitable post caffeine high crash. It has quadriceps for stamina and increased oxygenation Lion's Mane for focus, concentration and neuron growth, reshoot for stress and restful sleep, Turkey Tail for gut health chronic fatigue and cancer fighting properties should Toki for immunity and bone density, King trumpet for inflammation, antioxidants and heart attack and stroke fighting properties. Yes, yes, yes, I have been drinking this coffee personally. Now for months, I mix it into my regular coffee for a superfood boost. And then I add my collagen powder and a little creamer or I drink it on its own for a little bit of extra energy when I need it. This is what I call a conscious company, and one that genuinely cares about its customers head on over to rise superfoods.com that spelled RYZESUPERFO D s.com. To grab a bag now and enter code Jaclyn J AC li n at checkout for 15% off. Now back to the episode. Our beliefs are so important. What we reiterate to ourselves, daily, weekly, monthly yearly, is so important because it forms the foundation of our lives. And so by understanding a belief system around forgiveness, it makes it more tangible. instead of it just being an action, it becomes something that permeates our very lives daily. So here is a little bit of what I believe. My core belief is that we are all a piece of God, all a piece of God. I forget his name at the moment. But it's a gentleman who does a lot of yoga, and he wrote a book. And he quoted something like, If God is the ocean, we are all a cup. I believe that I believe that. And with that, because we are all a piece of God, a piece of something that came from the exact same source. That means we are all one you and I are the same. We are made of the exact same stuff. You with me. The second concept I want to play with here is that we are living in an illusion, in an earth school, in a dream. true reality is oneness with God in heaven, and eternal life, life on Earth. However, in this illusion, this dream is a temporary separation from that oneness. That truth, that reality, which means everything that is happening here, is being done in a dream. And that dream is simply a projection of our minds. Our interactions with one another are geared toward growth in this earth school, to be a catalyst to create that oneness here on Earth. So we can practice it so we can remember it. We trigger each other so that we can learn to forgive. And the idea is that with the help of the Holy Spirit, forgiveness becomes quite simple. We can ask the Holy Spirit directly to help us forgive. And with this perspective of living in an illusion, we realize withholding forgiveness from someone is simply withholding forgiveness from ourselves, because we are all one made from the same stuff. For instance, let's say you have a dream one night that your significant other is unfaithful to you. It's an awful dream. And it feels very real. But when you wake up, you realize that it was just a dream. Would you then punish your spouse when they wake up for cheating on you in your dream? No, that would be insane. That's the concept we're playing with here. Why hold on to pain for someone in this dream we are currently living in this dream that they are currently living. This perspective makes forgiving people so much easier. We are all fallible in different ways. And when we own up to that, it becomes so much easier to forgive others and then ultimately forgive ourselves. To the faster you can forgive someone, truly, the faster you will feel at peace with yourself. This book, The Disappearance of the Universe even talks about how forgiving will change the trajectory of the rest of your life. There's so many pieces at play that we don't know about. And when we make these decisions that lean into forgiveness, they shift the other pieces. How cool is that? And I understand why forgiveness clears up so much energy, it releases so much negativity, so much toxicity, so much stress. And I'm not saying your pain doesn't matter. I'm not saying that what that person did, didn't hurt, or that it wasn't wrong. But I'm asking you this. Do you want to be right? To be justified? Or do you want to be at peace and move on in a healthy way? forgiveness doesn't mean returning to that person either. It doesn't mean allowing yourself to be treated poorly. Forgiveness means releasing yourself and that other person from the negative emotions you feel around them and the situation. Imagine that for a minute, would not feel nice not to carry those feelings. Here are a few more things that I have found, really helped me to forgive. Number one, most people are doing their best at any given moment, with the tools that they have. We cannot expect other people to react as we would. They're different. And their experiences are different. So their perspective is going to be different. And if we expect anything different from that, then that's on us. Number two, because I am human. I hold every human capacity within me. Do I act on the mall? Absolutely not. But could I? Yes. We don't know what people go through what their childhoods were like, the mental turmoil they faced, allowing grace for people to be who they are just as they are, leaves a lot of room for forgiveness, compassion and empathy are wonderful catalysts to forgiveness. And number three, no one has to actively accept your forgiveness for it to be true. Maybe the person you are forgiving is deceased, or you no longer speak with them, or whatever the case is. Forgiveness really is for you. And the gravity of it is not dependent on someone accepting it or not. This book, The Disappearance of the Universe also mentions how you don't know how your forgiveness will affect someone. It may come years later for them. But there is still a magic that happens when forgiveness is freely given. And it may take a while. I know for me with some of the perceived grievances I have experienced in my life. It's taken me a really long time to forgive a really long time, and agonizingly long amount of time, where I carried so much toxicity and bitterness. And letting that go has changed me. It has freed up so much space and so much energy. So it may take a while. It may be something that puts a knot in your stomach to think about doing. But forgiving the people in your life who have hurt you will change your life. Not only will it free up so much space for you. It will also release so much negativity and stress from your subconscious mind. We carry that with us on a daily basis and forgiveness allows healing to begin an expansion to occur. That's so beautiful, right? The Holy Spirit wants to join with us to heal our minds through the path of forgiveness. Not because it's going to help the people we are holding grudges against. But because it will transform us. The more we forgive others, the more apt we will be to forgive and love ourselves. So I'll end with this question. What would it feel like for you to forgive that person that is coming to mind right now? What kind of energy would that free up in your life? And how would it make you feel if you weren't carrying that pain on a daily basis? I promise if you do this, your stress levels will change. I know All mine have