Feel 10x better by detoxing from this...

We live in a world that currently glorifies not judging others... yet we live in a time where it feels like we've never judged each other more! It's harsh, friends. And I don't like it.

So, today, I'm riffing on something you can do to get out of this toxic cycle and feel 10x better. - Even if it feels like you are the only one around doing it.🙂

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Light, Love, & Peace,

Jaclyn Steele

Transcript

Jaclyn Steele: 0:58

Ah, Happy Wednesday listeners. I'm feeling fresh today. I went to a yoga class for the first time in a while. And I'm feeling stretchy and refreshed. And back in my body just like that song from Maggie Rogers, highly recommend that, by the way. So the title of today's podcast is feel 10 times better by detoxing from this. Now, before I tell you what, quote, this is, let's talk about feeling better in general, because we all want to feel better right? To live optimally, to show up in our lives fully realized. The question we need to ask ourselves, though, is, and this is so important, are we willing to do what it takes to feel better? Am I willing to do what it takes? Are you willing to do what it takes? My guess is, since you're listening to this podcast, you are willing to do what it takes, you probably just need the right set of tools to accomplish what it is you're going after. I say all of this, to inspire hope to get us thinking, whatever it is that you want to work on, or improve. It's possible, don't let anyone tell you that it's not. It's just a matter of identifying what it is that you want to improve on. gathering some simple tools, and then putting them into practice. We so often overcomplicate everything. So I'm going to repeat this, whatever it is you want to improve on. It's just a matter of identifying what it is gathering some simple tools, and then putting them into practice. So now that I have prefaced this episode, with the fact that you can improve your life in any area you choose to do so. The area we are focusing on today, the thing you can detox from to feel immediately better, is, drumroll. You guessed it, judgment. And I mean judgment as it applies to yourself, and judgment as it applies to others. The theme of July is judgment detox. And here I am getting nitty gritty on this nitty gritty subject. One thing I will say is, this is kind of a caveat. And something that's important to note is that there is a time and a place for having good judgment that may go against the grain of what society is telling us right now. But good judgment is a good thing. If someone wants you to do something you don't feel aligned with and your good judgment kicks in, roll with it. Trust that gut. That's good judgment. And it's important. But the judgment I'm talking about today is the harsh ways in which we judge ourselves and each other. This is the stuff that leaves us feeling hollow that leaves us feeling critical of ourselves and of others. Here is a very simple and profound truth. The way that you judge others is often the way you judge yourself. Life is a mirror. What we put out, we so often see reflected back to us. I noticed this a lot when I struggled with an eating disorder. Everything back then this was in high school. My senior year of high school really, everything back then was about bodies for me. I remember analyzing and this may be TMI, but I'm just going to share it. I remember analyzing every person I saw and especially every other girl that I saw, was she thinner or bigger than me? This very specific perspective made me think that everyone else thought this way. So when I entered a room, I thought every girl in it was sizing me up going is she sent her or is she bigger than me? It was a very dog eat dog kind of perspective and not a very healthy one. For me, or the women I was so harshly judging what we often zone in on and others so often what we zone in on about ourselves. I'm gonna give you another example. I grew up in a very conservative Christian home. Miss had many positive effects on me, as well as a few unhealthy effects. Not always is, but sometimes when you run in Christian circles, the undercurrent judgement is who is a better Christian? Who is more pious, more devoted, more self sacrificing. And then a social hierarchy is built upon those observations. Pretty scary, right? Because that isn't what being a Christian is about at all. We often do the same thing with money. Who has more money in this circle? And the person who has the most money in the group is the most important. Do you see where I'm going with this? We judge and then we find ourselves our place in the social hierarchy, according to where we perceive we fit in. And then we act accordingly. Either we act big, or we shrink and we act small. Does this put us in a box or does this put us in a box Today's episode is powered by the golden secrets. This incredible skincare line was birthed from the heart and soul of Jessie golden, who if you don't know who she is yet, you should listen to episode 102 of this podcast because I interviewed her and you're going to absolutely fall in love with her I'm telling you. But this line the golden secrets is a holistic, sustainable, Fairtrade wild harvested and cruelty free skincare and wellness line that wants to inspire rituals of self love, and unveil a natural, ageless golden glow. It's rooted in nature, ancient wisdom and organic beauty. The Golden secret is committed to giving back and providing tools for the conscious consumer to live a more balanced, fulfilled beautiful and purposeful life. sound like something you want to be a part of? Yep, me too. The Golden secrets thrives on making skincare and wellness products that benefit everybody. all ethnicities, sexual orientations, and specific skincare needs skincare that doesn't harm you or the environment but instead works in harmony to awaken it. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Also, every product comes with an affirmation and a QR code so you can quickly learn how to use the product. I love combining affirmations with things we do every day. It transforms something as mundane as putting on your moisturizer into a sacred moment and if you've been listening to this podcast for any length of time, you know I'm all about that. This line is it's just next level. I have their youth beauty face oil, their aura beauty mist, Sorcerer's Stone guasha beauty tool, gold pulse firming face wand and this sculpting stone guasha body tool. I've also heard rave reviews about the golden secrets heal all oil. So that's next on my list. I use these products pretty much daily and my gosh, I could go on for days about the benefits of guasha which if you buy any of their guasha tools, you get a giant ebook chock full of info on how to use it and why it's so transformative and why the stone specifically the composition of the stone is so important. It's not like other guasha tools at all. I'm also so in awe of the Beuth beauty face oil it immediately absorbed into your skin it plumps it up it gives you this Golden Globe and the aura mist penetrates your skin and locks in moisture five times better than hyaluronic acid. Guys it's a total game changer. Especially if you live in the desert like me. And in addition, this might be my favorite product. Although it's really hard to say the gold pulse firming face one not only feels amazing, it helps erase the tiny Forehead Wrinkles I have I've watched in all multiple times in the mirror as those little bad boys disappear as I use this tool. I cannot recommend this slide enough it is next level on every level. So do yourself a favor and go to the Golden secrets.com or follow the link in the show notes and use code. Jaclyn 10 for 10% off your order. Again code Jaclyn 10 will get you 10% off your order all the information is in the show notes. You are going to love every product you try from the golden secrets I just know it I hate limits and I feel like judgments equal limits. What if roll with me here? What if Instead of judging each other to find our respective places in the hierarchy, we just enjoyed each other's company and realize there is space for all of us that all of us have wisdom and talent and gifts to share. How would that change your energy in a space? If you felt that way? It's pretty cool to think about right? Now, let's focus this on ourselves. If what I said above is true, that we judge ourselves to the level in which we judge others, then the How would our self judgment change? If we eased up on judging others. I'm a new mom. So this next one hits close to home. For me, the motherhood space is notoriously judgmental. Not all women, I hate using a wide brush to paint over a huge population. But some women judge other women very openly about the way in which they mother, their children. All you have to do to see this is to read an article on breastfeeding, and look in the comment section. What I find interesting here, though, is that the same level of judgment that women have for each other, they also have for themselves, I view it as a house of cards. And this applies to moms and dads and single people, and whomever lives on this planet, whether you're talking about motherhood, or work, or travel or the way you treat your dog, or the how you live or your house or your car, whatever. We build a house of cards, each card being a judgment. We do this because we think our judgments are right. And we want so badly for them to be right. And for people to acknowledge that we are right, that we lash out if we feel someone might have a differing opinion, because if someone has a differing opinion, it might knock down our house, it might cause us to have to do the tiring work of rethinking our whole belief system. But here's the truth. There are many ways to get to a destination. You can walk, you can ride a bike, you can take a bus or your car, you could take a train or a boat or a plane, you could cartwheel your way to your destination if you so choose. Why is it such a big deal? If someone likes another mode of transportation, more than the one that you prefer? Why is it such a big deal? If someone wants to parent differently, or handle their money differently, or dress differently or think differently? What if differing approaches weren't a threat at all? They were simply just that differing approaches. And if we want an opportunity for us to become curious and see if that approach could enhance the one we already have. Other approaches don't have to be a threat to our house of cards. We don't have to have a house of cards at all. You see the act of judging limits us. It makes us think that there is only one way that there is a best way that if we don't do X, Y and Z perfectly, then we will not amount to anything. This pressure is debilitating. It often stops us from getting started. It causes analysis paralysis, it causes stress and exhaustion and anxiety. Not much good comes from judgment. So what if we eased up? What if we loosen the reins and let people find their way? We don't know what their sole mission is in this life. Who are we to interfere? What if people loosen the reins on us? And let us find our way? Don't you think that that would feel nice? Do you think that would allow you to relax your shoulders a little to maybe even take some more risks in life because what the heck, we can always pivot and choose differently, or learn from our mistakes or start again. This reminds me of when I sold my house and moved into an RV. One of the questions I got was, Are you worried that you will regret your decision? And my answer very honestly was no. Because I can always pivot. Maybe I won't have the exact same house back or that car or that set of dishes. But I can choose to live that life again if I want you Y'all sometimes we are so afraid of failing that we forget to launch. Most things in life are not life or death situations, you know, whether you buy this car, or that or you choose this lifestyle, or that you have the right to change your mind to pivot, to hit him with a plot twist, like my friend Laura says. But if you are more worried about what other people will think, than what you think you won't be able to get very far. And one of the easiest ways to let go of what other people think is to stop judging other people, whether it's their coffee order, or their hairstyle or their sexual orientation, when we stop focusing our energy on judging others, that same judgmental energy we reserved for ourselves dissipates. Because where our attention goes, our energy flows. If you are placing your attention on judging others and yourself, that is going to suck up a lot of your very, very valuable energy. Think of all the other ways you could use that golden energy. Really, like think about this, you could write a podcast episode, you could take a walk, you could actually enjoy a family gathering. You could feel good in your own skin. Instead of judging your body or judging other people's bodies. You could celebrate individuality and self expression. Learn from it relish in it, you could show up and be your biggest, baddest self in a room full of awesome people who are also their biggest, baddest selves. Think about what that would feel like to surround yourself with that kind of energy. That sounds a lot like self worth to me. harsh judgment of ourselves and of others. Sounds a lot like low self worth. To me. It sounds like we are looking outside of ourselves for approval, and leading with our insecurities. Instead of leading with our beautiful soulful, spirit filled hearts. At the beginning of this episode, I riffed on how you have the power to change anything that you want to you have the power to be fully realized to be fully you the best version of yourself. The real question is, what will you choose? Will you choose to see this world through the lens of lack and insecurity? Or will you choose to see this world through the lens of abundance and self worth? If you want to feel 10 times better right now you know where to begin? Each judgment you detox from will free up space for more embodied and bold self worth filled you