Self-Worth with Jaclyn Steele

Don't Do What I Did

September 22, 2020 Jaclyn Steele Season 1 Episode 43
Self-Worth with Jaclyn Steele
Don't Do What I Did
Show Notes Transcript

I have a really bad habit of not knowing when to stop/turn off. I push and push until I'm so burnt out that I don't recognize my own reflection. Today's episode is a very personal warning: don't do what I've done. Take the time you need to cultivate what centers you. In addition, I share a few practices that have me feeling more in balance after 4 months of chaos.

Books Mentioned:
Super Life by Daron Olien
More than Enough by Elaine Welteroth

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Where that man?

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Hello gorgeous, gorgeous friends. Welcome to Episode 43. The title of this episode is don't do what I did. And before I get into that, I just want to say, I'm so happy to be sitting here right now. I'm in Nashville, Tennessee. I'm at an RV park. And our RV where it's situated right now is looking out over the water. So it almost feels like we are in a boat right now. And it is so beautiful and so relaxing and peaceful and the weather is perfect. But the road to get here was definitely challenging. And I want to give you guys a little life update before I dive into today's content, because the life update is pertinent to what I'm going to be talking about. So I just told you where we are. We are in Nashville, we left Georgia. Oh my goodness, we left Georgia last Friday evening. So it's Monday, we have been out of Georgia for three days now. And our departure date was about three weeks after we had initially what we initially anticipated when we were going to be leaving. So a I mean, deadlines were just busted over and over and over again. For the last two weeks in Georgia. It was like okay, we're leaving on Monday. And on Monday, it would be like okay, we're leaving tomorrow. Then on Tuesday, it would be like okay, we're leaving Thursday. And then on Thursday, it was like Okay, now we're leaving Saturday. And just so many different things happen. The title to the truck we bought to haul our RV was lost. We bought the the truck in Florida and Florida doesn't do paper titles. And so anyways, I don't want to go into all the details, but huge delay with the title. There were there was a hurricane that came through. And fortunately, the eye of the hurricane didn't come anywhere near where we were. But we had super heavy rains. And so the field that we were parked in my in laws house was soaked and so we couldn't leave because the ground was too wet. And then on the day, we actually had to leave, the ground was still too wet.

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And the drive I'm going to try and describe this to you guys I might do it might butcher it. But hopefully you'll get the idea. my in laws driveway out in the country, it's a narrow gravel driveway. And as you're leaving the driveway to get on the main road, there is a pretty significant ditch on either side of this narrow driveway. And the road the main road is perfectly perpendicular to this driveway. And with a 38 foot RV, we need a lot of wiggle room, especially when roads are perpendicular to do a really wide turn. And because there was a ditch on either side of this driveway, my in laws and Sam and I made this makeshift bridge with a bunch of lumber and filled this ditch up with all of this lumber so that we could have a wide turn and get out of the driveway safely. Because when we came into their property, we drove in far farther up via a field which was kind of crazy because we hit some limbs and oh my gosh, you guys we like I bet in a couple of years. We're gonna look back to this time these last three months and be like you guys were such noobs and you were so naive, you didn't know anything about rvng and I can't believe you still have your heads on straight after all of the crap that you put your RV through and yourselves. But as I'm sitting here now, talking on this microphone and looking out over this over this gorgeous lake. I feel like it was all completely worth it. And I am so grateful. But that being said, and I know I mentioned this in the last episode in Episode 42. But I I wanted to be far more consistent with this podcast over the last couple of weeks over the last month. But with moving and being diagnosed with hashimotos and plastic surgery and just being so bone tired and exhausted. It has been so hard I also the last month was living with my in laws So we weren't living in our RV. When we initially parked it a little over a month ago, a month and a half ago, we after we closed on our house in the middle of August, we moved in with my in laws. And so we have been, we were staying with them for a little over a month, like a month and a week. And they were so incredibly accommodating and helpful and kind. But as you guys know, you know, when you're out of your routine, and you don't have your own space, it's hard to like, for lack of a better way of saying it, to get your center back. And I also didn't really have a workspace, my stuff was spread out between the RV and the guest room and storage. And it's just been, it's been difficult for me to feel inspired enough and energized enough to want to get on this microphone and share something that I feel like will be helpful with you. And as I've said over and over and over in this podcast, I don't want to get on here and just blab I want the content that I share with you to be something that is valuable. So yeah, it is just been a really challenging month and a half since we closed on our house. But really four months since we decided to become full time RV years and sell our house and the majority of our belongings. And it feels like the last four months of an all gas pedal and no break. And as you know, as I shared in the last podcast in the middle of that the week we were closing on our house, actually I was diagnosed with hashimotos, which is a form of hypothyroidism. And essentially, I was feeling crazy amounts of anxiety. I was feeling sadness, I was feeling exhausted, but not being able to sleep. And I experienced like overnight weight gain, which was so disheartening, and really was the catalyst for me to go get my blood check. Because I was like something is not right, I'm not eating differently. But all of a sudden, I've gained, you know, like it was like 15 pounds. And so it was just a really scary time. And I'm not out of the woods yet. But I'm on a protocol now where you know, and I'll do a whole episode on this too. But I'm off of gluten, I'm on some supplements.

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I'm really, really eating clean, and trying to get as much rest as possible to let my body heal because there is some damage done. Obviously, when you're diagnosed with a disease and hashimotos is definitely not a life threatening disease. But it is life altering in that you have to make some changes if you want to get your body back into balance and get your hormones back into balance. And so I just feel like there has been a hurricane of feelings and circumstances that have occurred over the last four months that have just completely swept me off of my center. And that's really what today's episode is about. And I titled it don't do what I did. And that is Do not be all gas pedal and no brakes for a prolonged period of time. You will burn out, I burned out and that is, you know, that's unfortunately, one of my tendencies is to see a finish line and just try and go for it without thinking about the consequences of what will happen to my mental health or my physical health, if I don't take some time to rest and slow down and be intentional about what I want my day to look like and what I want my life to look like. And so it's just been such a challenge these last four months. And in a lot of ways. You know, like I said at the beginning of this podcast, I'm so grateful to be where I am right now in Nashville overlooking the water. I'm going to go see my family next week in the Midwest, we're going to be with my mom in Arizona for a significant chunk of time like all of this is going to be worth it. However, we did not have to sell our house and sell our belongings and do everything that we did in the short timeline that we did it in. And, again, while I'm happy to be where I'm at, I would never take on that timeline ever again with as little preparation as we did, because it exacerbated not only my heart motos and what I was experiencing within my body, but it just caused so much external stress, as well. And now as I'm reflecting over the last four months, I just, I feel like they were such a blur. And that's four months of my life that I'll never get back. And again, while I don't regret any of the decisions that we've made, just the pace in which we've made them, it is a little sad to me that I have not really been present for myself, or my life in the way that I am accustomed to, or in the way that I want to be for the last four months. And I feel like as I've gotten older, I've gotten so much more aware of being in my own center and feeling like I'm in my body and present. And so the fact that I have been so off center for the last four months is all also disappointed me because I thought I had gotten to the point in my life where that wouldn't be happening again. And that it is, I think, probably a, an unrealistic expectation of myself, you know, life is crazy. And life is always going to be crazy at certain times more time, sometimes more crazy than other times. But what I have to remember, and what I want to encourage you guys to do is to be intentional, especially when life is chaotic, especially when life is chaotic, to do what you need to do, to get back into your center. Because that is the place where not only are we happier and more balanced and healthier, and our bodies are in a much better place, or condition in which to be healthy. But it makes decision making easier. It makes sleeping easier. It makes life easier when we feel like we're centered. And I just now that we are a few days out of the chaos, and I am coming home to myself,

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I feel like I'm being reintroduced to who I was pre full time RV decision in May. And that person was so much calmer, so much more present. My internal dialogue was so much kinder to myself, I feel like when I'm off center, I am just and parents please shield your children's ears, but I am such a rude bitch to myself, when I am tired and cranky and off center. And, you know, the, the way that I speak to myself just feels like I've got a constant bully on my back. You know, I am super judgmental, and my expectations are unrealistic. And I feel this constant voice saying you should be further by now, how on earth are you not further you should be making more money you should have a book published you should have songs that have hit the iTunes charts and blah, blah, blah. And all these should and and sentences in which I speak to myself that are so far from kind and so far from how I would ever speak to another human being. And I wouldn't wish that on anybody yet. When you're tired and you're not living intentionally and you're not taking time to quiet your mind. I think the fallback for so many of us is to be what's the right word reactive, and our reactive mind is often so negative. And I feel like I've just been carrying that with me, especially the last month and a half because I haven't really had any alone time. And so I've been berating myself, internally. And I mean, even if on the off chance that some of that bereavement is deserved, or I'm not, you know, living up to my own expectations, speaking to myself that way is not going to make me live up to those expectations. Does that make sense? You know, if my goal is one mile ahead, beating myself into submission, where I'm at in the spot is not going to help me get to that finish line and reach that goal. I have to be kind to myself and I have to be aware of the way that I'm treating myself and speaking to myself. And so I think that you know, my, my health has been a concern and I'm definitely not out of the woods yet. I've still you know, still having trouble sleeping and

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still struggling with fatigue and all of that. But I think even more importantly, to me has been the negative or even of more concerned to me has been the Negative way in which I've been speaking to myself and treating myself because I've been so off center, and just so out of whack. And so please, I beg of you do not do what I did. If you are experiencing chaos in your life, if you feel like you're going through a super busy time, take the time you need to find your center, do not just keep pushing through it. I kept pushing through it for four months and got to the point last week where I felt like I was a vegetable, no inspiration, no energy, no nothing. And I wouldn't wish that on anyone. So please, again, I beg you, if you find yourself in similar circumstances, which, you know, in our society, nothing really ever stops, except for like a week and a half during the peak of the Coronavirus, quarantine, nothing ever really stops. And so you're going to have to take the reins and stop in order to find your center and get back into balance. And so I want to kind of close out with several suggestions of now that I'm reflecting on the last four months and how off balance, I've been some suggestions on how you can bring your own life back into balance. And these are really easy things. They don't require a bunch of money. They don't require a bunch of time, they just require some intention. My first suggestion, and this is something that I know but didn't do was to continue on, despite the chaos and having less time. Continuing on with my morning routine, which is waking up having some form of meditation, some form of journaling, some form of reading and drinking coffee and centering myself and setting my intention for the day. I have had a morning routine for years, probably since I was 16. And it's taken on different variations. But over the last four months, it was like everything completely. Again, parents cover your children's ears, everything went to shit. And I completely forgot all of the tools that I had in my to my tool chest. Now, part of that was the chaos of everything happening around me. But also part of it was my hashimotos diagnosis. This was pre diagnosis, but I just felt such anxiety. I couldn't sit still. So if you are feeling like prolonged bouts of anxiety, any kind of depression, weight gain, changes in your skin changes in your hair, that kind of stuff, get your hormones checked, that's a total side note, but go get your hormones checked, because there could be something going on. And your anxiety in the way that you're feeling may not be totally a mental thing. It could be a physical thing that's causing mental distress. So anyways, morning routine, make it sacred, make it a non negotiable. It's something that I feel like sets the tone for my entire day. And when I don't have a morning routine, I feel

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extra anxiety and I feel off

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kilter. So a morning routine and having that over the last few days here on the water overlooking a lake, it has been like heaven, all I can I keep telling my husband like this is glorious. This is so glorious, but you do not need to wait for a beautiful setting to create a beautiful setting in your heart and your mind. Okay, next suggestion, suggestion number two, and there are five of these get outside. There is something about breathing fresh air and being in nature, even just taking your dog for a walk around the block for five minutes. That allows your mind to settle a little bit and allows you to get back into center. And then even bonus, set an intention for the rest of your day or what you want the next hour to look like but just allowing yourself that mental space to slow down without a gazillion distractions or your phone. Next one, allow yourself some stillness. I feel like our society and now it's really a global society. It's not just the West. We don't ever sit still, we're watching TV, or we are being productive, or we're looking on our phones or we're cooking and taking care of our families or we're looking for stuff around the house to clean and do putting laundry away, taking care of children taking care of pets, etc. I think there's something to be said for saying I need to carve out some space and allow myself some stillness, not to look at your phone not to look at Instagram, not to read not to do anything except Be still and take a few breaths. Even one minute of this a day makes a giant difference. We need oxygen. We need stillness. We need that space to settle our minds. Still, we can go about our day in a way that is present, and in which, and a way in which we're actually showing up for ourselves and others. Okay, next one, find a book to take refuge in and inspire you. And I say a book because it's so easy to fall into TV. But there's something about reading that allows your mind space to play. And I think when there's

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a lot of chaos going on in your life,

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that word refuge is an absolute necessity. And so find a book to take refuge in and inspire you. I feel again, like this is so, so, so important.

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And a couple of the books that

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I have picked up recently that I absolutely love, and I feel like have been just nudging me back into my center. The first one is super life by Darren alene. And it is about superfoods and health, and living a life where you feel completely energized and ready to take on the day. And with my hashimotos diagnosis, I feel like it has really inspired me to get my hormones in balance naturally. And then the second book that I've been reading is more than enough by Elaine welter Roth. It is such a beautiful memoir, from a she was she was the editor in chief of Teen Vogue. She is a judge for Project Runway. She's an activist, just an all around pretty incredible woman. And it's a really inspiring book talks about race a lot. And I think that that has been something again, like, it puts life into perspective in a way that I feel like I just really needed and it's been wonderful. Okay, last thing that I would suggest to stay in balance, stay in your center is to drink water and eat vegetables. And I say it as simply as possible. Drink water, eat vegetables, because when your life is flying by at 90 miles an hour, it's so easy to just reach for whatever is available and fast. Or eat what the kind of people in your life are bringing you or ordering takeout and I love takeout I have nothing against it. But when your mind is stress and your body is stressed, and then you're putting stress inducing foods on top of all of that, it just shoves you further and further and further off balance. You know, high salt, high fat, high sugar, all of that stuff puts such an incredible strain on our bodies, that when we're already in a state of overwhelm, it creates overwhelm in our

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actual physical makeup.

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And so I think it's so so, so important. If we want to be healthy, happy, present human beings,

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despite our circumstances,

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to continue to drink a bunch of water and eat as healthfully as possible, no matter what is going on. You know, again, I'm offering an indulgence every once in a while, but in our everyday lives, we have got to be treating our bodies like their Bentley's because guess what? It is a Bentley, your body is a Bentley, it's a miracle. And we have got to be putting in premium fuel if we want to get all the performance that we would like out of it. So yeah, morning routine, getting outside allowing yourself some stillness, finding a book to take refuge in drinking water eating vegetables. Life is hard. Sometimes life is insane. Sometimes, hindsight is 2020 as they say, and so we can't always avoid these pitfalls and these periods of chaos. However, if you want to show up for your life in your fullest capacity, then you have to show up for yourself first. And this is a lesson that I am in graining and tattooing on my heart for the rest of my life. You guys are so important to me. I value you. Thank you for being here today. And I will talk to you in the next episode. You have been listening to self discovery with Jaclyn Steele. For more information or to submit a question please visit Jaclyn steele.com slash self discovery pod. On Instagram I am at Jaclyn Steele and that's j AC Li n s t e l e and on YouTube you can find me@youtube.com slash Official Jaclyn Steele. If you haven't already, please sign up for my high vibe Thursday newsletter where I send one email a week aimed at inspiring and elevating your day because you freaking deserve it. You can sign up in the show notes or by visiting my website, Jaclyn steele.com. May you go and be big and brave and bold today. Remember that life gets easier when we know who we are. And as always, and until next time. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for listening.