Detox from outside influence & feed your motivation

The beginning of a new year is a special time.  It often feels like a fresh start.  New idea babies are brewing and we are excited to work on and hatch them.  But, that newness can quickly wear off if we are looking outside of ourselves for worth, validation, or encouragement.  This episode is all about creating awareness around and boundaries with outside influence, and tuning into and fueling your own inner motivation.

Resources:
The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday
The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday

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Light, Love, & Peace,

Jaclyn Steele

Transcript

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Hi, I am Jaclyn Steele, and a welcome to self discovery. Howard Thurman so beautifully wrote, don't ask what the world needs, ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive, coming alive. That my friends, is what self discovery is all that matter. Beautiful friends, we are back, I am back. This is season two, I am not going to go and launch into all of the things about season two, because I did a season two trailer. So if you're interested to see a little preview of what I am planning on this season, then go listen to that. I will say this, I have some guests that are dream guests coming on. It is nothing short of a miracle. And the universe God however you want to describe it, putting points in place to make these introductions and these guests that are going to be coming on here happen. I'm so so so excited to share it with you. next order of business. These are some wild freaking times we are living in. And I don't want to launch into politics because that is not what this podcast is about. Though at times I think it's appropriate to have political discussions. right this second, I don't feel like that is appropriate. I will say this, I've been taking a lot of comfort in stoic philosophy. And one of the primary tenants of stoic philosophy is that I have power over my thoughts. I have power over my actions. I have power over the way that I walk in the world. And I have power over my perceptions. It's all about self responsibility. And I've been finding so much comfort in self responsibility and focusing on the things I can actually control. rather than worrying about all of the things that are absolutely beyond me. Today, we are going to talk about detoxing from outside influence, which there is so much right now it is overwhelming, and you can drown in it if you're not careful. And we're going to talk about tuning into your own inner wisdom. And also creating an environment in which you can motivate yourself. Because it's the beginning of a new year. We I'm sure most of us who are listening to this podcast, we're fairly ambitious. We want to grow and improve ourselves. So this is a very exciting time because it feels like a new page. But at the same time, I think we need to prime our engines, primer environments, prime our minds, in order to really take advantage of the freshness and the newness that we feel at the beginning of a new year. So that's what today's topic is all about. But I want to start the beginning of season two, by describing my setting because that's exactly what I did at the beginning of season one. And I think it's so important for me to preface that I want these podcasts to feel so personal to feel like we are sitting across a table from each other with a cup of tea, or a cup of coffee or whatever your drink of choice is and having a conversation between friends. I want this to feel intimate because self discovery is intimate. So here's my setting. As many of you know, my husband and I sold our house last year, we bought an RV. We've been living in that RV since September. And right now in January. A few days I'm recording this a few days before the podcast is to come out. We are in Sedona, Arizona. And it is so gorgeous. I don't even know how to describe it Google pictures of Sedona, Arizona because it's just unbelievably beautiful. It's like living inside of the Grand Canyon. And I'm at my mom's house. I'm on the second floor. I'm looking out of this gorgeous enormous square window at a beautiful desk out onto the red rocks and all of these trees. I have my doTERRA calming blend that I just put on my neck and my wrists to give me a very soft peaceful scent. As I dive into today's information. I have a cup of turmeric tea. I have my gorgeous leather journal next to me and also a cup of lemon water so that I can stay hydrated which is absolutely so important. And my mom's dog buc, who is a St Bernard and 11 months old, is downstairs and may at any point start to make noise during this episode, but that's okay. Because life is noisy. And we can always control things that are beyond our control, right? stoic philosophy. So, now that you know my setting, I want to know what kind of setting you are in when you listen to this podcast. So I want you to DM me on Instagram, you know my handle, it's at Jaclyn Steele, j, AC Li, n s, t e, l e. And tell me about where you are, what you're drinking, what you're doing when you're listening to these episodes, because I want to know, I want to visualize that, as I get behind the mic, and share this information. Now, let's dive in. I Love New Year's Eve. It's probably my favorite holiday of the year, I generally start thinking about my intentions around October of every year. And so have about three months of ideas and planning under my belt before the new year has started. But what I've found, upon some reflection is that this is good and bad. It's good because it makes me very intentional. But it's bad because it leaves a lot of space for self doubt to come in. And if you are anything like me, and I have a feeling you are because we probably have a lot more in common than we do not when you have an idea, or a goal, or a dream. And I'm going to use those three words interchangeably. In this episode, you get really excited. You want to share this idea baby with people. And you want to research ways that you can make this idea baby happen. And you get pumped and you get jazzed and you think about it, and you obsess over it. And you're so excited and so passionate about this idea, baby, and you want other people to join in this excitement. But when you tell them your amazing idea, they have an anticlimactic response, or worse, they tell you all the reasons why you shouldn't pursue this idea, baby. In addition, maybe you start researching this cool idea baby on YouTube or on the internet. And you're enthusiastically ready to gather information and get the know how under your belt to execute this idea, baby. But the first video you find tells you how hard this idea is going to be to bring to fruition. You finish watching it and you feel like a deflated balloon. Here is a message from me to you that I would love to shout from the rooftop, or actually the mountaintop that I'm looking at right now, with an international microphone, it is this, your ideas matter. And you have them for a reason. Your ideas are unique to you and not acting on ideas you truly feel passionate about is like taking the gifts God has given you and handing them back to God. I want to repeat that one more time. Your ideas are unique to you, and not acting on ideas you truly feel passionate about is like taking the gifts God has given you and handing them back to God. The problem is, from my experience, outside influence is generally negative. People in general, can be very, very negative. And that's why doing a detox from outside influence is so important. Especially when you are trying to birth something beautiful into the world. I rarely go on Facebook anymore. Because it is such a toxic environment. There are so many negative opinions and verbal attacks and bullying rhetoric happening and I just don't want to be a part of it. The cool thing is though, just like I can choose not to click on Facebook, you can choose I can choose not to allow outside feedback in, you get to choose what you listen to, and what you let go of. That's a pretty simple but pretty powerful concept. Right? And you already know this, but being aware of it is another matter. And we have to cultivate this awareness because if we don't, outside influence becomes a distraction and an obstacle in front of our dream. So how do we detox from outside influence? The first thing that came to mind for me was, number one, be aware of outside influence. You have to be able to decipher between your inner voice and the outer voices coming at you. And I know that sounds so simple, but it's actually pretty profound awareness. is a beautiful thing. This starts with who you are sharing your goal dream idea with. And here's my two cents on idea baby sharing, be really, really careful who you share with. This is your idea, baby. So don't share it with just anyone. Maybe don't even share it at all until you've made some progress. If you need someone to flesh out your idea with, do it with someone you respect someone who lives a life that you want to live, and someone who might be helpful in regard to their life experience, because then maybe they can shed some light on your idea. Maybe going to somebody and asking for advice around a subject on something that they have never done or experienced, is a very dangerous thing to do, in my opinion, because people like to give advice, and they like to tell you what to do. But if they don't have experience in that area, they're probably not the right person to be going to now, because I am who I am, and I love real life examples, I want to give you some real life examples of what I've experienced, as I've shared my idea babies with others, and just kind of how I'm going about doing that. Now, in 2021. This one happened almost a decade ago, when I first started working from home and making a little money doing so I shared with someone how excited I was that I was starting my own business, and how free I felt having autonomy over my life and my schedule. And I remember it. So clearly, it was a Friday night, I had just finished the week and I was so excited to be done. And I was so excited to be sharing in my enthusiasm over this new way of life. And this person looked at me and immediately started in on how hard it was going to be to make my idea work, and how my free time would never really be my own because I would be answering to all kinds of business demands, etc. And as a newbie, in entrepreneurship, and the business building world, this really rubbed me the wrong way. This person didn't know anything about the business that I was trying to create, or my personal goals, or what I wanted out of life. They just wanted to share their, quote, advice on how incredibly difficult it would be to accomplish what I wanted to accomplish. Now, here's the thing, constructive criticism can be extremely helpful from someone you respect and trust. But criticism when it is just criticism is unnecessary. Especially as Teddy Roosevelt said, If you aren't in the arena, getting bloody with me, I love that quote. It's in daring greatly. It's all over Bernie Browns work. But it's essentially like, Hey, if you're not in the middle of the arena, taking chances, being brave, and I don't need your feedback. I only want feedback who from people who are in this with me, or doing things that are also brave. Okay, another example of negative outside influences this, I decided that I wanted to relaunch my blog this year, and I love blogging. I love writing. I love communicating with you guys on different mediums because some people like to read some people like to listen, some people like to watch, etc. Anyway, I think blogging is really fun. And I think it will be a great addition to the podcast because they're going to be like sisters. So I decided that I was going to relaunch my blog, I went to YouTube and I started researching how to create a successful blog in 2021. And the first video that I clicked on, immediately started harping on how hard it is to have a successful blog and 2021. And it was like, I'm so excited. I'm so excited. Dun Dun, duh. And I don't want that kind of energy. No, thank you. I'm not going to let someone else get in my head and drill down how hard something is going to be for me, before I've even begun, because it's so deflating. We can choose to stop that video, we can choose to turn it off. I don't want us ever to be afraid of doing hard things, because people tell us how hard they are. And I hope that that makes sense. And what I mean specifically by that is, life is hard. It just is there are things that are always going to be difficult, but they're not necessarily going to be as difficult as people are going to tell us they're going to be and we don't need to take that kind of energy into what we are trying to build. Let us discover how difficult things are going to be and make our own decisions and create our own actions based on our own experience. Okay. Another thing to keep in mind is that And this is in regard to criticism for criticism sake, okay? Or people telling you, hey, you're a do is going to be really hard. These broad sweeps of advice from outside influence. They don't take into account your specific skill set and your experience, your skill set and your experience are invaluable. And skill set and experience are far more accurate determining factors than an outsider's opinion of how hard something is going to be for you. It may have been really hard for that person, but that doesn't mean it's going to be super hard for you. Okay. Second thing that I've observed my experience regarding outside influence, you can I can choose not to listen to, to turn off or to put down whatever is sparking doubt in you or in me, don't keep revisiting the outside influence that deflates you. You don't need it. My friend. This may be a person or a TV show, or a blog or a YouTube video or a book. You have the power to choose not to feed the wolf of self doubt. Let me say that again. You have the power not to feed the wolf of self doubt. This episode is supported by rise superfood mushroom coffee, loaded with adaptogenic mushrooms rise coffee blend delivers calmer energy, sharper focus and immune support for a balanced body and clear mind. The taste is smooth, creamy and earthy, all with less than half the caffeine of normal coffee, so you don't get the jitters or that inevitable post caffeine high crash. 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It may take you some time, you may fail once or twice or three times or 20 times. Go watch an Elon Musk video, he failed over and over and over again. But he said he never gave up because he didn't let that be an option for himself. We can choose the same. Okay, number three, this is the beautiful part of this episode where I'm going to turn it around and take it from outside influence coming in and empowering you with your own inside influence because your voice, your inner wisdom is present. It is there. And it's time to tap into it. And I promise you whether you believe me in this moment or not, it exists inside of you. The third thing that I think is so important on this topic is to feed your own motivation. And like I said, this is the best part of the episode when we have an idea, baby, a dream, a goal. Whatever it is, after we consider the outside influence, which we've now discussed, we do not have to take and internalize. Often the next things that hit us are fear, a sense of lack. Maybe it's about money, or time or age or skill set or whatever. And then quite often it's self doubt. And I found that usually that's in the form of a self worth issue. Like I'm not smart enough or pretty enough or thin enough or young enough or old enough. educated enough. I'm not a good writer. I'm not good at accounting. I don't know how to lead people I don't know how to build a website, etc. Insert your particular self worth poison. The good news is there has never been a time on Earth where information has been easy. To come by, do you want to open up a food truck, but you're unsure of your culinary skills by a master class pass and take yotam Ottolenghi and Massimo buturo and WOLFGANG PUCK'S master classes, you can literally learn from the best from the comfort of your living room. Do you want to start an e commerce business? But you don't feel like you know how to build a website? Go to shopify.com and poke around, read their advice, call them and ask for a play by play. Do you want to write a screenplay? There's a master class for that too. Do you want to write a book? Do it? Do you feel unsure about character building or writing a plot? There's a class online for that too. I know masterclass has them. And I'm sure there's a bunch of free resources. And bloggers who are successful writers who talk about this stuff to do you want to write a hit song for Raul, who is one of the most talented hit songwriters on the planet, wrote a book on writing hit songs, you can look it up on Amazon and get it on your iPad or Kindle or whatever. You can literally figure out how to do anything. Now. It's all at your fingertips, all at your fingertips. Feed your motivation. exercise your self worth muscle, exercise the power you have for drowning out outside influence that you do not need, or that holds you back. And if you are still feeling doubt, after feeding your motivation, then consider what it would be like to lean into your obstacles. There's a book that I'm reading right now that I highly recommend, called the obstacle is the way by Ryan Holiday. And there's always a sack of gold. Underneath that perceived boulder in your path. It's there to teach you choose to see your dream idea goal as actually possible, and list out all the reasons it could happen. Instead of focusing on all the reasons why it cannot. So often, at the beginning of a new year, people will say to each other Happy New Year, this is your year. And what if my friends, this actually is your year, because it can be I'll end with this. Your ideas matter. And you have them for a reason. Your abilities are unique to you. And if you choose not to use them, you open the door to massive regret. You can do this, you can achieve your dreams, you can accomplish your goals. You can birth your ideas into the light of day. And even if you don't believe in yourself in this moment, I believe in you. And if you have additional self doubt, you know where to find me send me a direct message and we can talk it through. I'm so grateful. So so grateful to be sitting in this moment in time with you have a beautiful day. My gorgeous, gorgeous, beautiful listener