Relationships: How to Align Energetically With Your Partner and Create a Thriving Life Together

In this episode of The Freq Show, we’re diving deep into a topic that affects every relationship: energetic alignment with your partner. 🌀 If you’ve ever felt like you and your significant other are on different energetic wavelengths—one motivated, one struggling—you’re not alone. We’ll explore why recognizing this misalignment is crucial, how to avoid the 50% energy trap, and the steps you can take (like goal setting, scheduling, and clarifying conversations) to get back into flow together.

Plus, we touch on The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins and how it can help you manage expectations and create more harmony in your relationship.

If you want your partnership to thrive financially, emotionally, and spiritually, this episode is your roadmap. Tune in for mindset shifts, practical tools, and a whole new way to think about co-creating a high-frequency life.

🎧 Press play and ask yourself: How can you consistently align with your partner to maximize the life you're building together?

🔗 Mentioned: The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins

Chapters

• 0:00 Pregnancy Announcement and Introduction
• 3:13 Energetically Aligning with Your Partner
• 9:07 Recognizing and Correcting Relationship Patterns
• 13:19 Taking Ownership of Your Energy
• 18:08 Same Page Meetings for Relationship Success
• 24:58 Financial Alignment and Mindset Work
• 30:38 Exponential Growth and Closing Thoughts

Transcript

Jaclyn: 1:00

All right, y'all. I just told Sam I'm rolling up to this podcast If you guys haven't heard not that you would, but we just announced that we have some pretty life-changing news, right!

Sam: 1:13

Yeah.

Jaclyn: 1:14

I am pregnant with baby number two. So if you have seen me kind of hiding my bump in the last few episodes on YouTube, I'm no longer hiding it because I can't.

Sam: 1:25

Yeah, you're out there.

Jaclyn: 1:26

I'm out there. So today we are going to talk about relationships. If you haven't listened to the last couple of episodes, we did a changeover, not so much that would affect you, but that affects my former podcast, Self-Worth with Jaclyn Steele. We moved our Freq Show podcast feed into that feed to just consolidate our listenership and hopefully simplify things and be able to add as much value as possible to you guys. So if you are looking for the new Freq Show feed, you should still be able to search the Freq Show and find us, but it's in a different location on Apple and Spotify, and then same with Self-Worth. You can still search Self-Worth with Jaclyn Steele, but it will be in its original feed but with a new title. So hopefully that's not too confusing. We're just trying to simplify things around here.

Sam: 2:17

Awesome! Do you want to get into today's episode?

Jaclyn: 2:20

Let's get into today's episode.

Sam: 2:24

All right. So I thought of today's topic and normally when we come up with topics to discuss, it's usually what's happening in our lives. So this topic is something that is kind of cyclical for us, and we've talked about a lot about in the past how growth is cyclical and you kind of come back to the same things as you're on your trajectory but...

Jaclyn: 2:51

But hopefully, you get better each round?

Sam: 2:53

I think this one is good to talk about because it's something that one we need to be aware of and need to call out, but that's energetically being aligned with your partner, and what I mean by that is oftentimes one person or the other will be operating at this high level, high creativity, high excitement, high energy, all of those things...

Jaclyn: 3:22

High frequency?

Sam: 3:24

High frequency and the other one can tend to be, you know, maybe working through something or just not necessarily in the best headspace, and that person that's right in the wave of positivity is more or less caring carrying the other person in some ways, while the other person struggles.

Sam: 3:46

And that's, you know, partnership, that's marriage at its core anyway is you're consistently being there for the other person and giving them support when it's needed. But specifically, I think we tend to vacillate in and out of that pretty regularly, where one person will be hard charging but the other person's kind of, you know, working through something, or whether it's a transition and what we're doing professionally or maybe there's something that happened relationally outside of our marriage that is affecting that person and they're kind of working through that.

Jaclyn: 4:29

That's my Achilles heel, so when something is like going on with our family outside of us, it's hard for me to compartmentalize because it affects me so deeply. I allow it to affect me so deeply.

Sam: 4:42

But what happens oftentimes-

Jaclyn: 4:45

What do you feel like your Achilles heel is though.

Sam: 4:47

I don't want to talk about that. No, I think for me, and lately it's been like having not definite purpose because I have definite purpose but not having a clear vision of where I'm going and what I'm doing necessarily professionally, because that's shifted a little bit this year and so I think it kind of-

Jaclyn: 5:09

All still within the realm of real estate and building our business, but we were focused so heavily on residential and now you've gone more to commercial while we're doing these other projects, so it is a big shift.

Sam: 5:22

Yeah. And that uncertainty if not necessary, not having figured out the process fully yet, not feeling like I'm getting a lot of consistent wins yet with that, and I think there's a period where you kind of question what you're doing until it starts to click. So that's kind of been weighing on me energetically. But what we want to talk about here today is recognizing that in our relationship, because what happens is when one person is functioning at a high level and you're kind of carrying the other person, we're never able to really get on the same page and optimize our output in a way that if we were both kind of on that high frequency at the same time consistently for a long period of time, that we would be able to do.

Jaclyn: 6:27

Yeah, because we have experienced that and I feel like when we are both on the same frequency, things flow so beautifully and opportunities flow so beautifully.

Sam: 6:39

Well, it makes sense, because we're both are. Our thoughts are focused on the same things. It's a lot more fun.

Jaclyn: 6:50

It's way more fun.

Sam: 6:50

It's a lot more creative and we're moving in the same direction, versus one person kind of pulling the other person along.

Jaclyn: 6:58

And relationship beyond our business, because, you know, we are partners in business and life.

Sam: 7:31

Yeah, So we've done it and I think that when you're in a relationship, you see those trends and you know that you're going through them and you work your way out of it. See those trends and you know that you're going through them and you work your way out of it, but I think after a while it's healthy to one really recognize them, recognize it, what's happening, and call it out and have a conversation around that to where it's happening less often and less frequently, yeah, so um I I guess that would be the transition into you know how do we get better at this?

Sam: 8:08

You know how do we correct it?

Jaclyn: 8:10

Yeah, are you asking me how we correct it?

Sam: 8:14

No, not necessarily.

Sam: 8:15

I mean, I have a couple of things that I wrote down, but I think the first thing is just that recognizing it and calling it out, because it's hard and I think that's most important for the person that's struggling at that time, to have the awareness in themselves or in ourselves, to call that out because it's harder for the person that, uh, it's harder for the person that's doing well, I'll say, to just turn around and tell the other person that you shake it off and and, uh, you know, buck up and let's get going.

Jaclyn: 8:57

It doesn't go over very well.

Sam: 8:59

Yeah, and we do that for each other. Yeah, we definitely do call each other out in those ways, but I think we recognize in the other person that they do are going through something. They do need a little space, encouragement, and we want to gently bring that person along.

Sam: 9:19

But if we—

Jaclyn: 9:21

The other person has to be willing too. And you're generally a very willing participant.

Sam: 9:25

Yeah, and so I think it's important now that I feel like we've been operating on a higher level for the last few weeks. I'll say it's felt really good because I've kind of come out of a bit of a rut. So we're in that sweet spot where we're both high energy, high focus and driving toward our goals. But to have the conversation now, so when, because certainly life happens and there will be things that happen that can kind of draw us back but have a good reference point during those times so we can recognize hey, I'm kind of, I know I'm going through something, I'm working through it, but I want to recognize that and kind of get back on that same page with you or you with me, sooner rather than later.

Jaclyn: 10:21

Yeah, I think the first things that come to mind for me is that this is such an inside job and to have a partner that encourages you and wants to help you out of whatever rut you're in, so to speak, is such a privilege and I'm so grateful for that. But I also think ownership needs to be on us as individuals and we need to think about how do I want to show up for my partner, how do I want to show up in my life? And, yes, this thing happened and it's really difficult. I'm talking about last week, when I felt just so burdened by some of the things that were happening within our family and within a friendship of mine, and it was making me feel just this sense of grief and sadness, and that is very real. I don't want to deny that.

Jaclyn: 11:10

That is real, and I also have a choice to allow that to affect every area of my life, or to say I'm going to give myself a couple of days to move through this sense of grief, but then I'm going to choose to channel my thoughts to a higher vibration. I'm going to choose to focus on the things that are within my control, and I'm reading the book the Let them Theory by Mel Robbins right now, which I highly recommend to all of you recommend to you too. But the idea behind it is that very phrase let them, let them be mad at me, let them misunderstand who I am, let them think I'm X, Y and Z. But then the latter half of that sentence is let me. Let me show up honestly, let me stand up for myself, let me have a high level of self-worth, let me choose these thoughts that are life-affirming rather than life-denying.

Sam: 12:18

Yeah.

Jaclyn: 12:18

Right? And so I think in partnership too there's also... I, of course, want to be on the same page with you 100% of the time, because that's when we have the most fun and I enjoy it so much. But at the same time you have to recognize that. Let him work through his process and whatever he needs to work through, because I can't control that, but then let me, you know, do little things to encourage you and vice versa. Let me continue to steer the ship in the direction I think we should go. Let me continue to channel my thoughts. Do you know what I'm saying? It's such so often in life and so often in relationships, we spend so much time wanting to control other people, wanting to control their perception of us, wanting to control their actions. But it is, that is something that we can never control, and so if we can focus our energy on calibrating ourselves and reframing the way we think about these relationships and these situations, we take our power back.

Sam: 13:38

Well, I think that I left out a big part of the cycle and, like the original description and that instance last week when you were kind of going through that. I was coming out gets their head above water and has some clarity to shift their frequency, the other person can tend to have a letdown because they've been shouldering the burden for a while of the partnership and of the relationship.

Sam: 14:17

So whenever that other person kind of comes out now's like, oh okay, I can let down a little bit and I think we become more susceptible to those things yeah so that awareness of because I I noticed that like I was like okay, I'm feeling good, and then a couple days into it you started having some issues which they're beyond your control, like you talked about.

Sam: 14:39

It's those things are out of your control, um, but you started to slip, you caught yourself, I think, and got back on track. But it's just kind of funny how it works like that, and I think when your partner or your husband or your wife is struggling, it's you feel that responsibility to lead the way and that's good. And it's kind of like we've talked about in business. There's like something that happens when your back's against the wall and you just have no other choice than to press forward and step up. I think that happens relationally as well.

Jaclyn: 15:23

Oh, very much.

Sam: 15:23

So that's the other end of it is as soon as I come out of my funk. That's like the prime opportunity for you to kind of slip into a funk because you're letting down a little bit.

Jaclyn: 15:38

Yeah, I think subconsciously I felt like, oh, he's okay, he's doing really well. And then I allowed my brain subconsciously and then consciously, started to process some of the stuff that's happened over the last month and a half and I allowed myself to actually feel what had happened, rather than just focusing on you and making sure that you are okay. So I think that's, in many ways, I think that's very healthy too. You know that we're both processing it, but maybe not at the same time because we can't let the ship sink. But I think, going back to what you said about recognizing these patterns is so huge and that's half the battle is just recognizing like, hey, I'm not necessarily in the same spot as my partner right now, but I want to give them the freedom not to have to match me emotionally and vice versa, but then also taking responsibility and doing what I need to do to ensure that I move through that grief and I acknowledge it and I'm not stuffing it. But I'm also not making that my primary focus or part of my identity.

Jaclyn: 16:48

And I think something that we did last week too that life has been so busy this past year and I apologize if I am sounding really nasally, I'm kind of stuffed up, but life has been so busy this last year and we haven't we could have done a better job of prioritizing our relationship. I think both of us were just feeling like we were drinking from a fire hydrant. But last week on Friday, we sat with each other for probably 45 minutes. We planned out our weekend, we planned out what this week was going to look like, and I feel like I was able to enter our weekend so much more relaxed, so much more present. I was able to start this morning knowing, okay, this is where Sam's going to be, this is where I'm going to be.

Jaclyn: 17:35

And these sound like rudimentary things, but when your life is going at the pace of life that ours is going right now, having these literal same page meetings for business and life make me feel like I'm on the same page with you and I feel like it sets us up to not only physically be on the same page, to know where you're going to be, when you're going to be there and whatnot, so that we can coordinate all the things we need to coordinate but also emotionally. It gives me, as a woman, a sense of security and safety Not that you've ever not made me feel secure or safe. But women are planners. I had a conversation with somebody about this yesterday at the Kaleidoscope luncheon. We like to plan, we like to have a plan, we like to know kind of what's coming. That's not as much of a priority for guys, but when I feel like you and I have planned time together and intentionally have mapped out kind of the next week or next month or next year, it makes me feel emotionally closer to you.

Sam: 18:46

Yeah, well, I think back to what you said, like, what are those things that you can control? I think that's one of those things, and I know you like to plan, but neither of us like meetings. We hate meetings. Or the structure of like being tied to having to sit down at a certain time and day and having that commitment on the calendar. I think we know that it's good for us but, I agree, because I think I'll speak for myself.

Sam: 19:17

When I kind of get in that that listless kind of mindset, I retreat and I kind of just want to be by myself and do my own thing.

Jaclyn: 19:30

I call it your island. Time you go on your own island.

Sam: 19:33

I feel like I have to figure it out in my head.

Jaclyn: 19:38

But you don't.

Sam: 19:39

But just having that time to come together and just plan things out. One it gives you a check in with me. It pulls me out of off from my island till now. We're planning together and we're kind of getting back in that habit and routine of including each other in everything that we do, or at least considering each other in everything that we do, or at least considering each other and everything that we do. So, uh, yeah, I think that's that that's really helpful and also planning like that it's. And one it outlines the path to where we're going, like these are the things that we're going to do and we're going to plan to ultimately steer our ship in the same direction. So it gets us on the same page in that regard as well. Like I'm involved in certain things that you take the lead on that are not necessarily my main priority, but it keeps me engaged in those things as well.

Jaclyn: 20:48

Yeah, and which makes me feel supported and I think in hindsight hindsight's always 20-20, right, but over this last season since maybe last October, I would say, is when this season started what we could do in this next round is understand.

Jaclyn: 21:05

We are in a transitory chapter where our business is growing, but maybe your role in the business is changing, or my role in the business is changing, and recognizing it earlier and saying, hey, let's really prioritize these same page meetings for business, for personal relationship, for finance, because we also had a finance meeting last week which was great and recognize that it's going to be a little bumpy as we're figuring this out. I think that's totally normal in relationships and business. So giving ourselves a lot of grace but then also having like that lighthouse in front of us, going this is the direction we're moving in. We don't know exactly how we're going to get there, but frequency of belief. We know we're going to get there and though your role may be morphing and my role may be morphing and shifting, these same page meetings allow us to understand what the other one is working on, understand how we can support the other one, but then energetically and just physical tasker wise, we can get on the same page and split the load.

Sam: 22:19

Yeah, and it is normal. And the thing is is I know it's been a busy period, it's been a transition period, but I would say that that's how it always is. Like I don't know of a time where we haven't kind of been in that mode. So all the more reason to be consistent. In periods of inconsistency with things, it's really important to have those things that are consistent.

Sam: 22:50

And even though it's not necessarily either of our strength to commit to that structure, I think recognizing its importance is valuable and will help us avoid some of the hurdles that we've had.

Jaclyn: 23:10

Yeah, and the feeling like we love each other so much but we're not on the same page.

Sam: 23:15

Yeah.

Jaclyn: 23:16

Because that's one of the worst feelings for me is that, like you're my best friend and I love you so much, but when it feels like we're not on the same page and I'm walking a line and you're walking a different one, I just feel so disconnected.

Sam: 23:27

Yeah, and I think it brings up the next point is clarifying conversations, and I think that that puts an opportunity on the schedule for us to have those sorts of conversations, the one we had last week. We've had a lot of conversations. You want to do a lot of things with the house and making sure that we're preparing for baby number two and have projects done and things in place.

Jaclyn: 23:59

He just kicked me when you said that.

Sam: 24:00

Things in place so when he does get here there's calm and peace in the house and it doesn't feel like chaos. But in that process we weren't on the same page as far as expectations of what projects we're going to do at the house, how much money we're going to spend. I was just hearing you wanted all of these things done and in place before the baby gets here and all I could hear was the cash register ringing on every single one of those things.

Jaclyn: 24:38

Even though I had prefaced conversations with when we can afford to do this, I'd like to do this.

Sam: 24:44

Before the baby comes, so it was like when we can afford it, but it's going to be before August. But to that point I think you had in your mind, I feel like you think you clearly communicated that and maybe you did. Maybe I just didn't hear you clearly, but we were off from an understanding standpoint. You were saying that you know, when we get this check or this income coming in, then we can do X, Y and Z.

Jaclyn: 25:22

I had it all organized in my mind.

Sam: 25:24

All I heard was like all of these things need to be done by this time, and it made me feel like we weren't on the same page. I felt like we had a financial meeting a month or so ago and we came out of that and I felt like we were on the same page. But then, when you started saying these other things and adding these projects on the books, it made me feel misaligned, because we came out of this meeting with this expectation but now we're going to go spend all this money on these other things, and it wasn't aligned to me. But when we sat down and we had the conversation and we were able to, you were able to clearly communicate that this is what we're projecting.

Jaclyn: 26:13

This is my timeline.

Sam: 26:14

This is, um, you know how we're going to pay for this, so forth and so on. This is you know how we're going to pay for this, so forth and so on.

Jaclyn: 26:21

And I had a very clear plan, yeah.

Jaclyn: 26:23

But, again, that's why having these conversations is so important and even though financial conversations you know, in our culture, in friendships, in intimate relationships, can be uncomfortable, they're so important to be able to have that clarity so that we're both working toward the same thing, because our goal is to build wealth, right, but then also, as somebody who's pregnant and preparing to have a second child, I want to have my house ready to go so that I bring that baby home to a haven of peace, and not, you know, multiple projects that need to be finished. So I think, again, having that understanding of like this is when we're going to do this, this is when we're going to do this and and, with the ultimate goal of wealth building. And hey, we're going to be able to sleep at night because we're not overextending ourselves and us both understanding that is just a beautiful place to be.

Sam: 27:19

Yeah, I agree, and so the last corrective step is one that we all know and we all recognize as extremely important, and that is mindset work, actively taking time every day to make sure that your thoughts uh the. The reality that your thoughts are creating are aligned with what you actually desire is so important.

Jaclyn: 27:52

We have an app for that, I think, don't we?

Sam: 27:55

We absolutely do.

Jaclyn: 27:56

What's it called?

Sam: 27:58

The Freq App.

Jaclyn: 27:59

The Freq App. Okay, cool, nice little plug there.

Sam: 28:02

Um, but you know, we talked briefly right before we started recording the podcast. There were more things, that there were a couple of things that happened earlier today that threw you off. And I'm the same way, we're all the same way. There can be conversations, or and I'm the same way, we're all the same way there can be conversations or stuff like that happens to step back and say this wasn't what I thought was ideal or this wasn't how I thought this would play out, but because I know that everything is working for me and in my favor, that that must have been what needed to happen.

Jaclyn: 28:58

I just did a blog post on that too, called How to Vibe Check Your Life, which our blog is up and running. There's new content posted on there every week. We're going old school with all of the written words, but there's a lot of really beautiful information on there. And, yeah, I think it is again our responsibility as individuals to calibrate our energy. You can do that through the free gap, you can do that through affirmations, you can do that through meditation, you can do that through praying, through reading good books, however, you choose to do it. But ultimately, it's our responsibility to manage our own energy.

Sam: 29:34

Yeah, yeah. And here the last note we have is if we're always operating at 50% as a unit, it's just going to take us so much longer to get where we want to go and achieve our goals, but if both of us are firing on all cylinders, it's exponential the rate that we can progress. It's not a one-for-one return, it's exponential.

Jaclyn: 30:03

Yeah, I think that that's a really good point and I think the same page meeting weekly is going to help us stay on top of that and assess where we're at. Okay, do you want to leave the audience with a question?

Sam: 30:17

Yeah. So the question is how can you consistently align with your partner to maximize the life you're creating?

Jaclyn: 30:26

I love it. Thank you, guys, so much for listening and we'll catch you in the next episode. Thank you so much for listening to The Freq Show with Sam Thurmond and me, Jaclyn Steele Thurmond. We would love to connect with you via our website, beckonliving. com, and on social media.

Sam: 30:45

You can find us on Instagram and TikTok @Beckon Living and you can join our email list to receive uplifting messages, podcast and business updates and discounts and on high-frequency on products just for our freqy community. Cheers to high-frequency living!